my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize