Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize