wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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