the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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