Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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