She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
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I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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