debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
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There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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