3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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