I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
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It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
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If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm really busy with my period
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