We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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