I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize