i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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