We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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