It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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