My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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