no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
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Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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