My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize