so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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