I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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