You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
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I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
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Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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