Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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