I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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