I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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