1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize