Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.

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  (604): I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/rlh2
  Replies (16) Good night (986) Bad night (4591) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!

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  (315): if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all! http://tfl.nu/te8n
  Replies (15) Good night (4410) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm

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  (203): too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm http://tfl.nu/fqzs
  Replies (43) Good night (1136) Bad night (3957) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)

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  (720): For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented) http://tfl.nu/wdah
  Replies (10) Good night (3208) Bad night (1357)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.

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  (413): In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does. http://tfl.nu/f5ii
  Replies (48) Good night (7732) Bad night (1812)
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  (516): View more from New York

  id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though

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  (516): id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though http://tfl.nu/r22j
  Replies (8) Good night (5844) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.

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  (309): Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary. http://tfl.nu/11rw
  Replies (15) Good night (3581) Bad night (896)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want

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  (570): Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want http://tfl.nu/5ndp
  Replies (5) Good night (2219) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo

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  (208): The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo http://tfl.nu/5szi
  Replies (8) Good night (3369) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.

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  (757): I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out. http://tfl.nu/cmh8
  Replies (7) Good night (757) Bad night (2303) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.

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  (757): It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog. http://tfl.nu/clzo
  Replies (3) Good night (1563) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.

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  (914): Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house. http://tfl.nu/9b9q
  Replies (1) Good night (1112) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"

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  (859): in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick" http://tfl.nu/v34k
  Replies (18) Good night (4623) Bad night (864) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex

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  (949): And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex http://tfl.nu/q2uq
  Replies (7) Good night (2629) Bad night (515) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.

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  (334): I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now. http://tfl.nu/gi33
  Replies (2) Good night (215) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt

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