the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize