Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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