Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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