I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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