Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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