Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
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you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
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Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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