Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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