i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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