after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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