Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize