She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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