Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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