yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
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my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
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Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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