Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
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Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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