One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize