Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.

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  (415): I have had sex with more partners than how old he is. http://tfl.nu/ztoc
  Replies (6) Good night (1241) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  You mean inside out.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

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  (302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3
  Replies (20) Good night (7440) Bad night (874)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?

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  (514): i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome? http://tfl.nu/1uvu
  Replies (18) Good night (3483) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv

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  (615): a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv http://tfl.nu/wh93
  Replies (15) Good night (1077) Bad night (3957) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?

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  (561): So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell? http://tfl.nu/0nz8
  Replies (44) Good night (7389) Bad night (1012)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

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  (563): why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth. http://tfl.nu/0ql9
  Replies (23) Good night (696) Bad night (3781) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.

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  (443): The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion. http://tfl.nu/57n6
  Replies (31) Good night (552) Bad night (4519) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.

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  (314): Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late. http://tfl.nu/bosu
  Replies (17) Good night (4838) Bad night (1055)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know

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  (732): we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know http://tfl.nu/1cmn
  Replies (20) Good night (4960) Bad night (987) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..

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  (412): you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby.. http://tfl.nu/7gz9
  Replies (10) Good night (3388) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.

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  (251): THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK. http://tfl.nu/fxxg
  Replies (14) Good night (1208) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.

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  (602): Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk. http://tfl.nu/8anb
  Replies (11) Good night (2802) Bad night (584) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.

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  (360): High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice. http://tfl.nu/cgkk
  Replies (12) Good night (1158) Bad night (533) Order T-Shirt
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Sunday is the day of rest.

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.

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  (857): Sunday is the day of rest. (857): As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest. http://tfl.nu/lma5
  Replies (3) Good night (1891) Bad night (338)
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  (818): View more from California

  You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.

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  (818): You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar. http://tfl.nu/wmr3
  Replies (8) Good night (724) Bad night (230) Order T-Shirt

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