i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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