so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
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As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
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Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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