At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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