one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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