Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
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matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
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The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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