Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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