I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
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Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
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I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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