so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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