i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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