Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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